Ridiculous Product Warning Message 荒唐商品警語
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Do not use for drying pets. 微波爐警語：不可用作烘乾寵物。
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On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive WithSun Shield in Place." 汽車前座遮陽板：請勿在駕駛中使用。
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On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. 嬰兒用浴盆：請勿將嬰兒與水一起倒出。
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On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship. 一包「釣友之友」（釣魚時常用）的喉糖包裝上標示：「吃了我們的喉糖，並不表示您就不需要人類的朋友了」
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On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test. Magic 8 Ball （一種像骰子一樣的魔術球）：請勿以本產品作為受孕測試器。
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On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. 在名為"Life Saver" 的一包清涼喉糖的包裝上：不可用作救生浮具。
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On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.
麥當勞咖啡：變冷後才放在鼠蹊部（大腿根部）上。 -
On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97. Intel的奔騰晶片：本產品如有錯誤，於顧客負擔2元運費3元處理費（合計4.97元）後，製造商同意補充新貨。
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On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening. 電冰箱：打開箱門後冷凍之。
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On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. 刮鬍刀:請勿在地震時使用。
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On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker. 手槍：勿用以敲擊核果，以免走火。
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On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. 褲襪：請勿用作犯罪工具（勒人致死）。
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On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation. 在一罐補胎劑的包裝上寫著（本產品不可作為隆乳之用）
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On Kevorkian's suicide machine：This product uses carbon monoxide, which has been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats. Kevorkian醫師的自殺機器：本產品使用一氧化碳，以老鼠進行實驗時證實可導致癌症。（醫生自殺機器：是醫生幫助病人結束自己生命的裝置）
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On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene. 工作手套：確保發揮完整功能，請勿留置犯罪現場。
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On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. 果汁機：請勿用作水族箱。
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On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. 兒童拼字方塊積木：本產品所拼出之字、詞、或句子可能導致不悅。
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On The Washington Post: Do not cut up and use for blackmail note. 華盛頓郵報：請勿剪貼本報字句，做勒贖函件之用。
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